Psychiatrists: Marriage To Wrong Person Can Trigger Suicidal Thoughts, Depression

A toxic marriage with frequent conflicts due to marrying the wrong person could have a devastating impact on one’s mental health, according to psychiatrists.

The mental health experts cautioned that marrying the wrong partner could lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts, stressing that marital conflict negatively affects the mental health of both husbands and wives.

Speaking exclusively with PUNCH Healthwise, the physicians emphasised the importance of choosing the right partner, pointing out that marrying someone not compatible might also lead to persistent stress, regret, and anxiety.

There has been a disturbing trend of individuals taking their own lives due to marital problems and related issues.
PUNCH Healthwise reports that this alarming trend has been observed in various cases, including two recent incidents involving Nigerian nationals residing in the United States.

In one of the cases, a 64-year-old Nigerian professor at Kutztown University in Pennsylvania, Chukwudubem Okafor, fatally shot his Jamaican wife, Cheryl, before taking his own life in a tragic murder-suicide.

According to Detective Joel Vonnille of the Berks County Coroner’s Office, the investigation revealed that the couple had marital problems, which led to the devastating incident.

In another incident, a 36-year-old Nigerian cardiologist based in the United States, Dr. Ikenna Erinne, reportedly committed suicide after losing a child support case to his ex-wife.
The prolonged divorce battle, including the custody of their children, had taken a toll on Dr. Erinne, who was ordered to pay $15,000 in monthly child support.

These tragic incidents highlight the growing concern of marital problems leading to mental health issues and, in extreme cases, suicide.

Reacting, some mental health experts who spoke with our correspondent, stressed that marrying the wrong partner could have severe consequences on one’s mental health, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies.

A Psychiatrist, Dr Sunday Amosu emphasised the significance of selecting a compatible marriage partner.
Amosu, who is the Head of Drug Addiction Treatment Education Research at Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Aro, Abeokuta, Ogun State, noted that ignoring parental advice and proceeding with a marriage that was not approved could lead to a range of problems, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies.

According to the mental health physician, when individuals enter into a marriage without proper guidance and support, they may struggle with feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression.

He explained that this could be particularly challenging when the relationship turns sour, and the individual feels unable to seek help from their parents or other trusted authorities.

Amosu stressed the importance of pre-marital counseling, noting that many people get into problems because they didn’t undergo counseling before getting married.

He advised individuals to seek the services of professional counselors, mentors, or accountability partners who can provide guidance and support during and after marriage.

The psychiatrist also noted that marital problems could have severe consequences on mental health, including depression, anxiety disorders, and even suicidal tendencies.

He emphasised that individuals should prioritise their mental health and well-being when choosing a partner, rather than ignoring potential red flags or sacrificing their happiness for the sake of the relationship.

“So, people should not die in suffering. When there is violence, don’t keep quiet. Don’t die in silence. Cry out. If you cry out, the solution may be on the way. Somebody may come to your rescue.

“We know that sometimes the couple may need to separate for some time and later come together again rather than being killed like a chicken. I think people should not die in silence. They should come out.

“What is yours will always be yours. We encourage people to come out and speak out. If this man will marry you, he will still marry you. If this lady will marry you, she will still marry you. If you go into marriage under deceit, and this person gets that discomfort, he or she may leave you. And the fear you had at the beginning of not losing, ultimately will still happen. Then is it worth the trouble? We must be sincere in marriage,” he stressed.

Speaking further on how marriage can lead to mental breakdown, the psychiatrist added, “It has also been found that marital discord usually precedes depression in those who are married. So, another group of people are those who have suffered a mental breakdown, because they didn’t tell their spouse, whether it is the husband or the wife, how exactly they feel.

When either of the partners discovers, usually a lack of trust will come in.
“When there is a lack of trust, the person will not trust again; it will be a serious one. And sometimes the marriage may break down.

“Also, when there are major life challenges that people go through, maybe exit events, somebody suddenly dies, it is a sort of kidnapping, ritualism, an armed robber came to the house and raped the wife in the presence of the husband, they may not enjoy that relationship again.

“These are major life traumas. Even with the stresses that we go through, and the challenge of our children; maybe they are not doing well in school as expected. So, all those things will tend to people developing depression.

“Even physical illness. When they have some physical illness and they have to use medication for a long time, people have cancer. They also develop depression.
“So, all these are in the context of a relationship. If a partner is not aware, there will be a problem later.”
Continuing, the mental health physician said, “Today, it is important that our youth must be patient when it comes to relationships. Even for parents, we must be able to guide our children appropriately.

“What we need is to support them, remove sentiment, and be sure that they’ll be able to live together and all the necessary support that they need in marriage, we must be able to give them.

If they are not able to cope, if one partner is not happy, they may also have a mental breakdown. Most of the time, it is usually with depression. So, parents need to be careful.

“Youth must be sure of what they are going into. Like I always warn, if parents are saying no, please be careful. If you are a male like me and you have younger siblings who are female, if you bring somebody and they don’t approve, you need to be very careful.
“People must be careful. We must make an informed decision and be sure that we are making the right decision. If not, sometimes people will have to live with regret for the rest of their lives.”

On his part, a psychiatrist at the Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos State, Dr. Oyebode Fadipe emphasised the importance of choosing the right partner.
According to him, marrying someone who is not compatible with you can lead to a lot of conflict and stress.
Fadipe explained that when individuals are in a relationship with someone who does not understand or support them, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

He further stated that when individuals are in a relationship with someone who does not share their values or goals, it could lead to feelings of frustration and resentment.
He noted that marrying the wrong person can also lead to a loss of identity.

Psychiatrists

When you’re in a relationship with someone who is controlling or manipulative, you can start to lose sense of who you are and what you want,” he said.
The psychiatrist noted that it is essential for individuals to take the time to get to know someone before committing to marriage.

He warned, “Rushing into a marriage without properly getting to know the person can lead to disastrous consequences.
“Being able to communicate effectively with your partner is crucial for building a strong and healthy relationship.”

The physician stressed the need for individuals to prioritise their mental health and well-being when choosing a partner.
“You should never feel like you are sacrificing your happiness or well-being for the sake of a relationship,” he said.